Posted in Parenthood, Positivity, Uncategorized

How do I change the culture in my home?

This morning as my child screamed for her blanket as I drove down the driveway I wondered when she learnt to expect to get everything she wants.

Do we spoil her? Let her run loose? Why is she like this? I was experiencing deep regret. Why did I let so much slide or did I? Is this normal?

So many questions. 

It made me wonder what I have done to influence her behaviours. One thing we have been a lot of lately is being tired and grumpy.

We’ve been grouchy Mum and Dad and it doesn’t make me happy. Doing this makes her think that it is okay to act grouchy towards others.

I’m not aiming for some Fluffy detergent commercial style harmony but I’m over the grumpy.

It made me bring a comparison between my work and home life. I’m very big on a positive work culture. Respect the people around you. Make them and their contribution feel valued. Ensure they feel listened to and encourage them to grow and build independence.

Snap! 

Changing my perspective is key by the sounds of things. We all need to work together in this family to not only get everyone to bed by 7:15 each night, but to do it harmoniously and without broken blood vessels and overworked voice boxes.

One of the biggest triggers for disharmony is when she doesn’t listen. If Dan is around he will pipe up and ask her to listen to me, it all kind of goes in circles. Pointless and annoying. Then it escalates and a tantrum comes forth rapidly. Discipline drops in. Non compliance equals the stairs. Further non compliance equals the bedroom. We have a full steam kicking, screaming three-year old taken to her bedroom followed by doors being slammed then more kicking and tears.

The demands for a cuddle are at an all time high but only on her terms. We must cuddle in a particular place and without Willow. By this stage Mum is terribly exhausted.

It doesn’t seem like we are getting anywhere because the tantrums keep on happening.

This week I will be taking a few tips on board.

  1. Use humour and be light-hearted when situations get heated

  2. Recognise when you are being grumpy/tired/short/rushed

  3. Work out whether is it a fight worth fighting.

  4. Take time out

  5. Do activities together without the baby

  6. Understand she is three. Her outbursts are because she is not coping or doesn’t understand the situation.

  7. A cuddle fixes everything (most of the time)

  8. Try not to rush, try to listen and don’t dismiss

Do you have any methods of keeping a sense of calm in your home? Do you have a way to get your child to listen without getting to the tantrum stage?

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Are you using your listening ears? 

I’d say about the last six months but for most of this parenting gig I’ve felt a little lost with discipline. How in the hell do you get a strong willed little lass to stop, recognise and listen? 

Counting worked for a while. That fell flat pretty quickly. I added another element, if you don’t listen by the time I get to five you will have to sit on the stairs. This often escalated to full blown tantrums. Fun for everyone. 

Next step- If you don’t listen we won’t go to x,y,z. Too bad if we didn’t have any plans that day. It felt like a day full of threats. Not exactly a positive experience for all. 

We were both stressed so I made some tactical changes. 

Rather than having food treats I put together a bag of erasers with positive affirmations, random little toys and cute stickers. If she listens she gets two stickers, if she has a great day overal she can choose a prize. We’ve gotten to a point where I tap my ear and she knows what I’m talking about. Easy. 

I’ve made a little book that she shows her Dad at night if she has had her listening ears on. Being tangible it allows her to maintain that sense of pride. Food only gave short term effect. 

For the moment as one thing works tomorrow may bring with it a new challenge. What tactics do you use to get your little one to listen? 

Posted in Parenthood, Uncategorized

Traveling with the very hungry toddler. 

We’re on the road again, northward bound to see family. One particularly fresh at only a month old so we are all buzzing at meeting the beautiful bundle. 

Leaving last night we stopped at Gundagai to have a snooze and hit the refresh button for the remaining four hours. 

First on the agenda the Dog on the Tuckerbox where we normally have breakfast but the train hadn’t come in yet! So no breakfast for us. 

We put it out to the world to find us food and we hit the jackpot. Jugiong is a teeny little town with the local pub being rebuilt we were a bit nervous. 

Then we saw it….


The Long Track Pantry. I’m not sure if being attached to a winery made it appeal more, we do love our wine but it was exactly what we needed. 


The food was lovely, the staff friendly and great coffee. There was even a little shopping to indulge in all possible varieties of jams, sauces and gumboots. 


Very unexpected we are now all full and ready for the rest of our journey to Sydney. Only three hours to go. 

Posted in Entertainment, Parenthood, Positivity, Uncategorized

Have you seen the trailer for ‘Bad Moms’ yet?

I got a little bit excited and watched it at work, holding in my giggles as I reflected on that all too familiar feeling of failure. Keeping another human alive is hard and seeing the ultimate rebellion unfold in this movie it got me thinking about ways I blow off my steam. I am looking forward to checking it out on August 11th. Time for a night off with the girls me thinks, who’s in?

Bad Moms

Watch Bad Moms-Official Trailer-STX Entertainment

 

I had a few Mum fails this week. Matisse found my nail polish decided to spill it on our bed and pillows then rub it in her eyes. She came screaming running in to the shower, yes I left her supervised by Playschool while I had a shower and she got adventurous. I felt terrible.

What I have learnt: Leaving creams, lotions, nail kits or anything that can spill/be spread in my bedside table is not such a good idea. Finally I moved it all in to a cupboard much higher and now she has full access to my socks and jocks. It was one of those stupid things that I have been meaning to do and fortunately there was no serious damage done.

Second Mum fail: I lost my cool

I am a big believer in passive parenting and trying to stay on an even level when disciplining. This particular day we had been up early, the Matisse alarm is harsh sometimes. We had plenty of time to get organised for playgroup, go for a walk, went to the shop, had a snack got home and I was exhausted.

Mum drag

I can tell when I need to take a break but sometimes the toddler won’t give you that space. I was trying to get her organised for her nap i.e. Find the missing teat for her bottle (frustrating) and as I am scrambling through the disgustingly disorganised cupboard she decides to jump on my back and wrap her-self around me. Feeling the strangulation as my top pulled ever so tightly on my neck I gave a very swift three warnings and then I pulled her off my back and said no, don’t do that. She stood there bawling and holding her arm and again I felt terrible.

It sounds so silly and small but it’s moments like these that I see her emulate when she feels frustration or dissatisfaction and I don’t want to model this behaviour. Sometimes this strong willed, beautifully stubborn toddler pushes all of the passive buttons no amount of yoga breaths will stop that boiling feeling from taking over my brain.

Shock

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The Best Kind of Kind

Is being kind to yourself and others of course. I had my alarm set for 5am this morning to get some writing done and I said no way Jose! I am going to take this hour and sleep and wake up refreshed with my daughter. The week was taxing and I needed it. Guess what? She slept until 7am and I couldn’t have been happier. She never sleeps past the numbers 6 and 30 but today she gave me a 2 hour sleep in. Woo hoo!!!!

 She was sitting there singing with l her teddy’s when I came in.

We had her first swimming lesson this morning and she loved it. We all loved it, it is so weird sitting there watching and feeling proud. She wasn’t even really doing anything but there I was grinning and laughing like an idiot at her having an amazing time, splashing and blowing bubbles. Of course I took a million photos, this kid has permanent paparazzi following her. I wonder if this will give her a warped view in later life. Well we will worry about that, later.


Last night after my post ‘I should Have Done It Sooner I received a beautiful email from a friend of mine. Emotion aside she said if you need to talk I am always here, she also said she loves my blog so that was also lovely. Firstly it made me realise that I should reemphasise that I am coping but sometimes I just feel blah! And secondly that this friend is a superstar and a great example of how we should all be.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives or just don’t know how to approach someone to say hey guy! Or hey chick! Is everything okay? These simple words can mean so much to a person and sometimes make such a difference. So thank you my beautiful friend you made my day x

Now I am currently sitting in the car on the way to meet our friends in the countryside, put up our colossal sized tent, grab a drink and relax. I can actually breathe now… the morning less breathing and more stressful. We are going for one night but for some reason, we have four bags of clothes, one bag of toys, one huge tent, a potty, an esky, a monster bag of food, every possible stuffed toy a girl could sleep with, porta cot and a queen size blow up mattress. My husband threw every comment of disdain to my packing abilities as we madly rushed out the door post swimming. Swimming finished at 11am we left our driveway at 1:15… SLIGHT FAIL! I can’t stand the thought that we would get there and would have forgotten something, so I take everything. Our car is far too small to be too extravagant but I do try and fill it as much as possible. Dan played along unhappily but he put a stop to the blow up pool. Apparently a trip that lasts less than 24hrs doesn’t warrant a blow up pool, go figure. There are always things we can work on.


MummaKate x

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I quit my job today

Sometimes you just know when you have had enough. It’s when you get that steam rise in to your brain and you know deep down inside no decisions at this point will be rational. None. 

There you are dealing with this lump of toddler screaming at the decision between bath and shower. Which one should it be??? Let’s cry irrationally for 20 minutes and send my Mum over the edge. 

I tried to reason, actually put her in the bath, wrong choice, so I made a bold decision. I told her I quit and got undressed and hopped in the bath myself. Told her there was no use wasting a lovely bath. I probably could have done with an ice bath at that point the way I was feeling. 

Sun up to sun down my day is full of negotiations and this one got me. 7pm on a Friday night, I’d been informed the other parent would be departing at 0830 the following morning for approximately 24-30hrs and by the sound of her cry it was as if I was doing life long mental damage. 

There is my cue to check out. Take ten breaths deflate my over heated brain and start again. This time I told a toddler I’d quit. Now who is the rational one there and sank myself into some serious bubbles. Edit

She eventually came around, jumped in and we had some awesome fun. Totally prepped her for our first swimming lesson together tomorrow. Life rolls on and I ask myself, why am I not drinking wine????

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend. 

MummaKate x

Posted in Uncategorized

The Best Kind of Kind

The best kind of kind is being kind to yourself and others of course. I had my alarm set for 5am this morning to get some writing done and I said no way Jose! I am going to take this hour and sleep and wake up refreshed. The week was taxing and I needed it. Guess what? The child slept until 7 am and I couldn’t have been happier. She never sleeps past the numbers 6 and 30 but today she gave me a 2 hour sleep in. Woo hoo!!!!

We had her first swimming lesson this morning and she loved it. We all loved it, it is so weird sitting there watching and feeling proud. She wasn’t even really doing anything but there I was grinning and laughing like an idiot at her having an amazing time, splashing and blowing bubbles. Of course I took a million photos, this kid has permanent paparazzi following her. I wonder if this will give her a warped view in later life. Well we will worry about that, later.

Last night after my post ‘I should Have Done It Sooner I received a beautiful email from a friend of mine. Emotion aside she said if you need to talk I am always here. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives or just don’t know how to approach someone  to ask Is everything okay? These simple words can mean so much to a person and sometimes make such a difference. So thank you my beautiful friend you made my day.

Now I am currently sitting in the car on the way to meet our friends in the countryside, put up our colossal sized tent, grab a drink and relax. I can actually breathe now… the morning has been less breathing and more stressful. One night equals four bags of clothes, one bag of toys, one huge tent, a potty, an esky, a monster bag of food, every possible stuffed toy a girl could sleep with, porta cot and a queen size blow up mattress.

My husband threw every comment of disdain to my packing abilities as we madly rushed out the door post swimming. Swimming finished at 11 am we left our driveway at 1:15… SLIGHT FAIL!  Dan played along unhappily but he put a stop to the blow up pool.

Apparently a trip that lasts less than 24hrs doesn’t warrant a blow up pool, go figure. There are always things we can work on.

MummaKate x

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Today I Failed

 

Potty train in a week, put them on it every 15 minutes.

Potty train in two days lock yourself in the house, let your child run around naked and pee everywhere.

All of the advice in the world I have read far and wide, listened to many speak of their past experiences yet today I went completely wrong.

Today I decided to wake up before Matisse, thought I’d get an hour or so of work in before she woke up. Brilliant idea me! Actually it was the lecturer from the weekend but hey! I was up at 5am so I’ll take the pat on the back.

Far too sparky and rearing to go when she woke up, we were on different levels from the get go. The world had caught up with the little lady and she was no longer our happy camper.

So, what did I decide to do? Get in her face and ask her far too often, do you need the potty? Toilet? Wee? Poo? What has my life become???? She hated me and I don’t know why I persisted.

Each time I asked her the answers became more and more angry. NO MUMMY!

I don’t even know where my instincts were but I absolutely thought I knew what was best for her so I thought that I’d make her sit on the potty. Seriously bad idea. Well, I broke her. Lots of screaming and many regrets on my behalf, I stopped as fast as I started, realised I was being a dick and changed tact. I just loved her, hugged her like crazy then thought to myself if she pee’s everywhere who cares.

After we all calmed our farms and organised ourselves for some serious down time, for both of us, she took herself to the potty and did the biggest pee I have ever seen.

15 minutes later I ask her if she wants the toilet, I get a no and she straight away pee’s on the floor, we win some and we lose some.

 

Posted in Entertainment, Uncategorized

Movie A Go Go!

I don’t get to go to the movies too often but over the summer I’ve had nights out with the girls and caught a few. Don’t I feel all up to date and part of the movie going set.

I love the movies, I remember seeing ‘Edward Scissorhands’ when I was a kid. My Aunty Lorraine packed a bunch of snacks and it was the best, it was such a new adventure. My first movie a few years before was set up at the local hall in Cleve. I can’t honestly remember the movie, I was too young but the place was packed out. Another movie memory was with my big brother, when he would babysit me, he was capable being 10 years older, he cultured me in the likes of Rambo, Mad Max, Star Wars and Jaws. All movies far too old for me and I may have come away a lot scarred from Jaws but it was an awesome bonding experience.

It would be amazing to write a script and see it up on screen. Another medium of storytelling. I’ve done a little bit of script writing in the past, it is an intense genre to explore.
Back to my movie going.

Date one: Joy

Who with: My awesome high school friend Stacey. The perfect date for this movie.

I won’t go too much in to detail as you will want to see this if you are wanting to be inspired to succeed. A classic story line of the main character overcoming adversity but knowing it’s a true story and well performed by J Law it was a good watch. It was a slow burner and I found myself a little lost at times but I walked out of the cinema feeling empowered and ready to tackle on the world. The message and acting outweighed the movie itself.

Date two: Sisters

Who with: My Melbourne little sisters, Janelle and Jen. Couldn’t have laughed more with anyone else.

It was completely ridiculous, but such a laugh. Both movies had female leads, they both had very real back stories. Being a comedy Tina Fey and Amy Poehler took it to the next level of crazy and that was the fun in it. I walked out with sore cheeks and plenty of throw away lines. They both served different purposes but ‘Sisters’ explored the sisterly bond with one lifting the other up when they were struggling. The stronger of the leads needed help too and then the roles were reversed. It was a story line that worked in to a comedy, everything blows up and the world is a better place. I’m not bagging this movie as it served its purpose and it was a lot of fun but it’s not a stand out.

Please send movie recommendations my way. I’m thinking I need to move past the Rom/Com/Drama genre and dip my toes in to some Sci-Fi.