Posted in Parenthood, Personal Development, Relationship

The day Drew Barrymore taught me life isn’t always perfect

Drew Barrymore and Will Kopelman made the news today. Sadly they are divorcing. There was a particular level of surprise as they have always appeared so happy and balanced. She has often commented that she had found the family with Will she never had growing up.

In reading of the break up I came across this quote from Mrs Barrymore that sounded all too familiar:

“People are like, you know, ‘Do you go out on date night, and like, ‘Do you put the relationship first?’ I was like, ‘No…’ We’re just in it, you know? We have a one-and-a-half and a three-year-old and you know, I think we’ve put the parenting first right now.”

With their relationship now over it brought up a few questions:

Can the busyness of parenting take away from the relationship?

How do you find the balance?

What can be worked at to keep the relationship on track?

Five sure fire ways to keep the old fires burning-

  1. Have fun and be cheeky. The bones may not spell twenty two anymore but laughing will keep you and the relationship you.
  2. Date night. You might not have family close by to rescue you so have a date night at home. Turn the TV off, devices tucked away.
  3. Talk it out. They say don’t go to bed angry but if you do make sure you follow up the next day.
  4. Share the load. Parenting, cooking and cleaning. Sure one may have more paid work than the other but it doesn’t mean the rest of life lands solely on the stay at home parent.
  5. Give each other a break. There are two days in the weekend equalling two sleep ins…. You get where I’m going. Take it in turns, have a nap.

Give it a shot and tell me what date night means to you.

Dear Drew,

I have loved you since ET and even through that crazy Firestarter movie, scary for a little kid. I hope you find happiness and I know that a relationship breakdown doesn’t fall down to one comment made flippantly to come boring reporter, you have just made me reassess the fact that I put zero effort in to our twelve year anniversary today. No one is ever perfect.

MummaKate x

 

Posted in Personal Development, Relationship

What’s for dinner? One of the most hated questions and five ways to get around it

For as long as I can remember in my relationship I have had the question what’s for dinner? Or what would you like for dinner? This instantly incites a rise of dread and panic in me. Dread for the same dreaded question and panic because I have the same old answer, ‘I don’t know’. Eventually I wised up to the question and went with a more than eloquent response of ‘what do you want?’. Seriously after 12 years I would have thought there could be a more rounded use of words. Patience of a saint or copping to my own disorganised spirit who knows? 

Less about me and more about you, how do you organise dinners? Is it a joint effort? Do you take full responsibility? Is there a routine? Do the kids contribute to the decision? 

Over time there have been some methods that I have used to defer the ‘what’s for dinner?’ question. I’ve either moved between them all or sucked at the lot. 

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The last idea has really worked for me. It allows for a little spontaneity or choice and gets you into a smooth routine. 

  1. Gotta love a weekly menu plan. As an avid dieter it is the best for keeping the calories in check. 
  2. Pasta Monday, veggie Tuesday, stir-fry Wednesday, egg Thursday, fish Friday…. You get it Winking facea guide to help give a quick response and sound totally organised. 
  3. Focus on a cuisine or particular cookbook. Flick through and book mark all the good recipes. 
  4. Share the responsibility- Have a week off and make your partner choose. This has got to be my favorite. 
  5. Write down 30 meals, even simple eggs on toast. Include the faves as well. Then you can close your eyes, randomly choose five meals if you want to be a super star show off or two if you find yourself shopping every few days like me. Too easy. Cycle through the thirty meals for as long as your heart’s content.  Once you’re bored choose another lot. 

If you are like me this may save a lot of stress or even fights, here’s to a more harmonious household for all.

MummaKate x

Posted in Relationship

Leap Year proposal, do the ladies really need it? Some one here didn’t. 

Why is it that every four years women of the world are given approval to take the hand of their mate and propose marriage?

Well it was one lady who made it all happen back in fifth century Ireland. St Bridget toddled off to St Patrick  and informed him that women needed a chance to get in on the action and take control of their destinies. The men were dilly daddling so they needed a shake up in the system.

Thirteenth century Scotland got it right putting a law in place. It stated that any man who refused a women on this year would be required to pay a fine. With this there was the first documented case of a female proposing on the 29th February.

Very progressive of St Bridget back in the day to give us ladies a chance to make the move. But really why do we need an excuse? I didn’t.

Young crazy love, I was only 23 had spent Christmas apart from him and realised that I never wanted to be apart from him again.

I’d planned a Beastie Boys mosh pit proposal but it all got a little hectic in there so I put it on the back burner.

The following month I organised a proper grown up dinner with his family and friends for his birthday. Love was in the air and after talking at length on the subject with friends over wine they left and I was prepped and ready to pop the question.

He was in disbelief, I was full of nervous adrenaline sedated slightly by the wine. This is our love story. He said yes and my parents received a 2am phone call.

No Leap Year needed.

Posted in Relationship, Writing

Bee My Valentine- what a great start to Valentine’s Day

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I arrive home, it’s 10:30 PM and the whole house is asleep. I knew this already from the SMS I received stating my mate was going to bed. My mate, he is my forever life-long mate and I have a sweet card for him.

I retreat to the lounge room, the Writer’s Gala I had attended that evening had brought out the bookish in me. Yes, I am bookish but alas I never get to read. I choose to read over sleeping, this will help me unwind.

As I settle in to my couch and crack open the book slightly I hear an almighty bang. I wondered if it would wake the household but luckily they are all dead sleepers. I had no idea what it would be, I thought it must have just been my bag that dropped. Instinct told me to look closer.

what was it????

A full bottle of single malt whiskey lay before me, SHIT, there goes Dan’s Christmas present. I thought although there was a little crack I might be able to save the whisky. I take it to the sink and as I am inspecting the slight crack the bottom falls out of it. I’m standing there drenched in whisky, it’s all over the floor and the smell was more powerful than I had faced before. It felt like I’d had a big night but none of the fun.

I looked at my cute Valentine’s Day card and a little person spoke to me ‘hide the evidence, don’t ruin ‘V’ day’. For the following hour I scrubbed the floors, me, the sink and hid the bottle. I felt as if I had performed the perfect crime. It was a complete accident but I felt bad for Dan so thought I would omit the fact.

Life turns around…I will not put blame on  the toddler

Happy Valentine’s Day! I have started the day off with a lie. I wasn’t sure how long I could not tell him for. The day went off without a hitch, then I noticed the pumping crack in the tiles. I stupidly brought it to Dan’s attention, then it clicked. The bottle. He told me it must have been Matisse and I couldn’t even let that slide. I told him the truth. He assumed I had been terribly drunk as when he woke up unwell in the night I smelt like a distillery. Ah no, not quite.

With this Dan rejected my request to Beeeee my Valentine so I’m free if anyone is in need of one! Hey, next year I may just buy him a bottle to replace it. So romantic.

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Posted in Parenthood, Positivity, Relationship

Stormy Baby Connects Mums Forever

There is a massive community of Mum’s, yes it is a thing, I don’t know how we would operate without them.

Constance Hall is a great example of this, promoting a positive tribe of women uniting to empower themselves in their current situations.

Motherhood is all too consuming and going from blissful oblivion to parent is a huge adjustment. Crazy huge! Maybe you are going stag, in a couple, married there is no level or preparedness for the change that is about to come upon you.

402920_10150683925582524_995611820_nMe and Dan NYC

 

We don’t even know what the word baby means here

 

 

Think of yourself on a beautiful pacific island sipping cocktails in the sunshine, swimming whenever you want, sleeping, eating, leaving the room without a bag, maybe a towel then a stormy thunderous cloud descends upon you. BANG! You are hit. You are with child.

It is without a doubt the most wonderful experience you can go through and there is nothing better than the love you get to give and receive from them but it’s still damn stormy. The consolation, the wonderful people you meet along the way.

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On the train this morning there were two pregnant women I gave one my seat and like a creeper listened to their beautiful conversation, they had just met and were giving each other support already. Add a bump and automatic unification. Seeing them chat and being at ease with another it inspired me to share ways in which you can build your own community.

Mother’s Group– You will be counting down the days until this starts and then dread it when you have to work it in to the little ones schedule. Be prepared to be overwhelmed with information and to hear incredible stories.

Playgroup- There isn’t any planning or thinking, you rock up with a bit of fruit and a wealth of advice.

Play Centres, Playgrounds, Cafe’s (love a coffee) the list could go on forever.

Online is also a great resource. The moment you conceive you are able to join groups and go through the pregnancy hurdles together. Your community starts from there.

If you want to check out the Constance Hall Facebook page click here

Posted in Relationship

We did it! 

Happy anniversary to my lovely husband, nine insane years married and we haven’t killed each other yet. It makes me feel old to think that we have been married for that long but I was a baby when we got together. 22, finishing up uni, balancing it all and mostly focused on going out and having fun.

He managed to capture me with his amazing generosity and cheekiness. Plus he kept me grounded. I was in desperate need of a bit of guidance through my 20’s and he truly put up with my shit, being five years older he had a bit of perspective. Well, we put up with each other’s shit and that’s what has made us work so far and we’re damn proud of it.

We got to go out last night by ourselves!!! We went to this amazing restaurant called Transformer, it’s behind the Vegie Bar in Fitzroy. We chose to partake in their ‘Feed Me’ selection which was various dishes chosen by the chef. To be honest I have no idea what we ate, there was so much food and I was a little nervous about leaving Matisse for the night but we thoroughly enjoyed it. They had so many pretty drinks, being the driver (good wife) I went to town on the mocktails.


  
  

It was all so pretty and romantic the restaurant was divided by petitions covered in fernery and each table hand its own cool lighting going on. You will have to excuse the crazy pictures we were experimenting with said lighting. Receiving gorgeous texts from my friend looking after Matisse helped to calm my farm a little. She obviously understood that I was a little on edge so I got a series of photos.


  


I’m very lucky. We survived our first night with both of us away and she had an absolute blast. I still woke at 6:30 waiting for her singing to come through the monitor but instead I got an amazing slow start to the day without the words: bottle, mummy, potty or cuddles. Thanks Caitlin and Tim, you guys are the best, we owe you one x

Nine years down and with many more to come, I love you Dan you rock my world and are still the most generous and cheeky person I know xx

Posted in Entertainment, Holiday, Relationship

Hi Ho! Hi Ho! Off We Go!!!

Christmas week is upon us and what an amazing week it is shaping up to be.

Last night we had our early kid free Christmas dinner in St Kilda. It was perfectly balmy as we enjoyed a few cocktails and ate far too much amazing food. I was incredibly spoilt by my KK, she knows me too well. Matisse had two of her favourite people spoiling her and I woke up without a foggy head. Couldn’t have asked for more really.

I was very excited to be getting out!

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Yay! Grown up time…🎉
Now we are on to the serious side of things, the car trip to Adelaide. We decided to leave at four in the afternoon so then we would be able to get a bit of peace for the last half of the trip. Unfortunately daylight freakin savings got us to nine o’clock with her consistent ‘Mummy pat?’, ‘Mummy!, MUMMY!!!’ But now we have our quiet. I can’t complain, we haven’t had any tears or tantrums. The first ‘Mummy, look’ I had this afternoon I turned around to this:

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We are still 270km off Adelaide, Dan just had a minor quarantine mishap but otherwise we are super pumped to see our family. We might just wait till the morning though as we won’t get in until 1:30AM 😫 surely they will all be up waiting to greet us!

I hope all of your Christmas festivities are shaping up to be loads of fun and that you are all healthy, happy and looking forward to the next few weeks to come x