I am dipping my toes back in the water and thought if I’m finding it hard staying on track then I should at least weigh in and let you know how I am going.
Things are getting better, my eye is clearing up and the rest of the family are down to snotty noses. That I can cope with.
I think I need a bit of a lifestyle change. Five hours of broken sleep a night is really not working for me. I keep banging on about going to bed earlier but it never happens. Before I know it I’m looking at 10pm then I get myself ready for bed Willow wakes for a feed and I’m hitting the pillow at 11. It’s something I’ve struggled with post babies, cherishing that me time of the evening a little too much. Now I’m actually losing my memory and all round motivation, I need to get strict on myself. Go to bed Kate! Dan is always saying this to me and of course I am naturally defiant. You’re not the boss of me!!! I’m such a grown up but if I actually start listening to my body and mind (totally losing it) then I should be a grown up and go to bed early. In no time at all, I feel like I’m dreaming here, Willow will give me a full nights sleep.
Loss this week: 200g
Loss so far: 13.4kg
Hello friends, this is not the end of the world.
I went and had a chat with a friend yesterday who is doing awesome and keeping it together diet wise in a difficult situation.
I was inspired, excited by the possibility of health and being on track towards my weight loss goals.
Then I went home and dug in to a block of chocolate.
What’s going on with me????
I’m not going to be too hard on myself because to be honest I’m having a fairly crap time coping with a fair whack of continuous broken sleep. But I’m also recognising that I’m riding a downward spiral that only ends with weight gain. Something I have been avoiding while I make myself ‘feel better’ about life through sugar. I wish I was there, I wish I could say ‘oh man! I was so tired so I just went for a run to rejuvenate myself’ I’m sure people do that. Don’t they????
So what am I doing?
I’m making sure I have healthy breakfasts. This morning it was cooked oats with soy milk, grated apple, cinnamon and Greek yoghurt. Delicious.
I’m saying no!!! To pizza. Menulog you were my main man in my time of need. There was no human contact or cash exchange. I mean the pizza was free right? But we are over it’s time to get the cook on.
Making it easy.
I’m not a food prepper and I’m not one to do a big weekly shop. Half week at best. Sometimes my ever ending trips to the supermarket get interrupted by the little ones. I always need a go to easy as recipe on hand.
Soup, vegetarian spagghetti bolognaise, spinach and riccota canneloni/pasta, salad plate, eggs on toast. Whatever is in the cupboard. Anything but pizza (unless it’s homemade).
I want to come back before it’s too late and I’m far too deep in to my gaining cycle. Being more self aware of my previous behaviour is helping me to get back on track to success.
No one ever said it was going to be easy.
July brought with it a feast of sickness topped with an eye infection for me.
Back to back anti biotics and a big dose of feeling so so has given my weight loss journey a back seat.
This is not me done yet! I have temporarily raised the white flag and given in to the desire to rest and heal.
I will be back soon I promise.
Weight loss for July: 600g
You are going to laugh, I sat through the whole documentary of the CrossFit World Games. I was interested in what goes on behind those incredibly fit bodies. Who are these people and how do they devote and focus so heavily on one thing, themselves. I’m not saying that is a bad thing either it is a true discipline. One that I lack.
It made me come up with a list of what I need to do to get to my goal weight. It’s very simple.
Combine this with doing the Mum thing (most of my time) housework, shopping (God my life sounds interesting) and socialising. There is little free time. That free time is when I actually combat all of those things on my list. The Mum thing I am consistent with 🙂
What I tend to do is get caught up. Tiredness sets in which leads me to watching too much TV, the Facebook sucks me in, the wheels start to fall off and things get messy. Then the stress sets in and I do a lot in a very small window of time. Speed cleaning, it’s magical.
This week I am prioritising my list over TV and The Facebook. I have been reading my book and the relaxation it brings me versus the screen is incredible. I want to make the little free time I have more beneficial.
Weight loss this week: 600g
Weight loss so far: 14.2kg
I’ve changed to Saturday weigh in as I found myself letting myself go on Friday’s.
The three words I spat out as I looked up at my husband while in the final stage of labour, we’ve got this. Next I know I’ve got our little Willow passed up to me, it was empowering, we have this.
I’VE GOT THIS!
Just before I pushed her out (sorry don’t go to any visuals) I kept having false starts. Pushing, pushing, pushing then I’d freak the feck out because I was afraid. I didn’t even have a Panadol in my system, the gas was out of reach and I sure as hell wasn’t willing or able to crawl to it at this stage. There was nothing between me and that pain, why did I do this to myself?
My amazing midwife lent down beside my head and said ‘I know you’re scared, it is going to hurt but you are only a matter of minutes away from meeting your beautiful baby’.
We’ve got this followed by something far more intense than I have ever felt in my life and she was there. In my arms crying away.
I am getting my reassuring voice ready because I need to take charge. There are 24 weeks left of the year, it wont be easy, possibly even painful but I need to think of all the amazing rewards at the end. Fitness, health, new clothes a new lease on life and more confidence.
I’VE GOT THIS
Weight loss this week: 200g
Weight loss so far: 13.6kg
My gorgeous friend called me out of the blue the other day. Isn’t it funny that most calls are out of the blue now, texting is way more convenient. Anyway she called me and said the most precious thing ‘ I was thinking about you, one of my colleagues has post natal depression and I was having a meeting with her and it made me wonder if you were okay?’ My body instantly went on the defense like does she think I’m not coping? Do I seem depressed? But she was just caring and I thought it was wonderful. ‘I am okay I reassured her, life is hectic and can be stressful but that is having kids’. Okay I may have blubbered on a bit (a lot) more than that.
Sometimes you might ask your friend and they might not be okay and that’s where you become very useful. You have been trusted in to the sanctum of their reality. We spend so much time pretending everything is all fine and dandy when really life is bloody hard. Even though it sucks and you feel like you are drowning it is okay to feel like you are not coping.
The last couple of weeks have been a continuation of pattern for me. It’s frustrating to acknowledge but something I need to confront because I don’t want to completely unravel.
In being kind to myself I am being unkind. I am at the peak of sleep deprivation and have stoppped exercising enough. I’ve also been chasing sugar and carbs like a woman possessed. I’m not winning and I had a terrible time dealing with the idea of hopping on the scales but it’s done now. I want to wrap myself up in a winter blanket and keep indulging because damn it! I feel I deserve it.
My goal far outweighs this tiredness. I need to find a way to keep myself in check and have a back up plan for that inevitable tired day when shopping and cooking seems too hard (most days). Prepping for the week seems impossible as finding a massive block of time that isn’t there doesn’t really work. This is where I’m falling apart. It all seems too hard.
My kindness to myself this week. The one variable I can control. My bedtime. Even though I want to watch my shows and relax a bit without the kids I think giving myself another hour before midnight will make a world of difference. So I shall add that on to reading a book which was my goal from last week. Trust me I’ll get there.
Weight gain this week: 200g
Weight loss so far: 13.4kg
What time do you go to bed/wake up?
Following on from my previous post I have come to the conclusion that I am a little bit lost. Okay, maybe a lot lost. Since having the girls I’ve changed and I’m not really sure what in to yet. Maybe a pumpkin? a carriage? Too much Cinderella.
Once upon a time life was all about Dan and I then all of a sudden it was all about Matisse and now Willow. Who we were, our lifestyle, gone. I’m not complaining, the girls mean the world to me and they bring me every bit of happiness. What I’m talking about is the happiness I give to myself.
What I do for me currently:
Focus on my health and fitness
Writing in this blog
Cooking (I’m starting to enjoy it!)
– I think I need more but time is a bit of an issue at the moment.
On Sunday I went clothes shopping. I couldn’t stand looking at my baggy jeans any longer so I picked up a few pairs of fitted jeans and a couple of tops. I want to feel good about how I look and whenever I looked in the mirror at those daggy baggy jeans I wasn’t seeing a positive reflection. It’s amazing how shopping for yourself can feel so good when you have been neglecting that aspect for so long. I felt as if any time I went shopping for myself in the past I’d come out with something for the girls.
My happiness focus this week is reading. I am going to read a WHOLE book. I’ve got to finish reading the one I’ve been reading for about four months first!
What do you do to make yourself happy?
Weight loss this week: 1Kg
Weight loss so far: 13.6Kg
I’ve had a rubbish week. We’ve all been sick, Willow isn’t sleeping and I’ve got this non stop sense of absolute doom.
When everything is down you feel down, when the planets are aligning you feel like lightning.
Where is the middle ground?
I hit double figures and took myself off to see the family interstate. I’ve come back and instead of falling on my feet I’m dwelling on the fact that I miss everyone already.
Life sucks but I should be able to get around this without sabotaging myself. Well the layers have kept piling on top of each other and I’ve avoided every possible crutch available to me. TIFFXO has an array of resources available yet I’m not reaching out. I’m self medicating with food and although not at the level that I was previously it really messes with you when you start mistreating your body.
What is going through my head right now?
If I start back on the program again I can’t eat whatever I want.
I need some motivation
What are my goals?
Why am I doing this?
What is it going to take to get me there?
One foot in front of the other. This is my first step. Admitting I am in trouble. Second step. I’m going press play, exercise and do the food shopping.
With all of us sick and tired it’s only natural to drop the ball a bit. Food shopping and eating has been secondary. Now I have to re-establish the routine to make next week a better one.
I’m resetting now.
Weight loss this week: 700g
Weight loss so far: 12.6Kg
Addit: I wrote this pre weigh in and I’m very surprised at the loss. Maybe I’m not eating as much as I think. It definitely goes to show that nutrition can affect your mindset and how your body feels. I wasn’t eating clean so even though I was losing weight I still felt yuck.
Just a quick one today as I am a crazy lady and decided at 7PM last night that I am going on a road trip with the girls. Why not keep it fresh and add a little bit of spontaneity. Nope just crazy!
What does that mean???
Snap weigh in!!!!!
I had a little fist pump moment this morning and guess why? I did it. I’m at double figures.
I’ve been finding it difficult to mentally get myself over this invisible line and I’m not even sure what it’s about. Afraid of success maybe? Scared of going above the 100 mark again?
I jumped in to TIFFXO wholeheartedly this week and she got me the results. Combined with the 8,000 steps on the Fitbit and positive thinking It was all an advantage.
No going back now.
Getting this result is such a massive motivation to keep me focused while I’m in Adelaide.
Weight loss this week: 1.4Kg
Weight loss to date: 11.8Kg
I’ll try and get a progress photo up soon. Now to pack!! ROAD TRIP!!!!!!
Today a news article struck a chord with me. The ABC has a documentary series targeting waste. The reporter was in the middle of a shopping mall with six thousand kilograms of discarded fashion and textiles. He asked the crowd how long they thought it took Australians to dispose of this amount of waste. The answers ranged from days to hours but the answer was mere minutes, 10 minutes to be precise. We live in a consumerist society and it made me question my own choices.
The article suggests that having more makes you purchase more. Why would we want more if we have enough? Because your cupboards are so full of stuff that you forget you have it. This got me thinking. Why do we need so much? I put this with why do I feel the need to eat when I’m sad/angry/mad/happy? It isn’t a simple question. I turned to Netflix for help. Haha
I flicked to the Flix and on came Minimalism: A Documentary About The Important Things. Yes, they are the same guys from the podcast. They made it clear to me why I have this overarching discontentment when I sit in my lounge. My brain is perpetually overwhelmed. We have too much stuff!! How little some people live with is inspiring so I thought we’d get cracking on living a more minimalist existence.
First stop: getting rid of the photo albums. Not the pictures. We have technology to thank for the humble scanner button.
Second stop: The walk in robe. I decided to back myself and get rid of all of my summer clothes. By next summer they will be too big so to the charity bin they go. I found two tops of the same style that I never wear because they sit terribly. Why I purchased the second I don’t know. Anything I can’t feed Willow in, gone. It felt AMAZING! I’m saying that I believe in myself so much that I am willing to give away most of my clothes. What also felt great was getting rid of the belongings that held emotional weight. Whenever I had put on the Kg’s in the past there were the clothes waiting for me. Now I’ve got nothing to go back to!
Now to go through the rest of the house. Less is the new more!
Weight loss this week: 600g
Weight loss so far: 10.5Kg
Weight loss for May: 2.9Kg
Monday will see me start the TIFFXO journey, I’m completely committed. I’m actually excited to push myself with both nutrition and fitness and see if I can smash through my next goal.