You are going to laugh, I sat through the whole documentary of the CrossFit World Games. I was interested in what goes on behind those incredibly fit bodies. Who are these people and how do they devote and focus so heavily on one thing, themselves. I’m not saying that is a bad thing either it is a true discipline. One that I lack.
It made me come up with a list of what I need to do to get to my goal weight. It’s very simple.
Combine this with doing the Mum thing (most of my time) housework, shopping (God my life sounds interesting) and socialising. There is little free time. That free time is when I actually combat all of those things on my list. The Mum thing I am consistent with 🙂
What I tend to do is get caught up. Tiredness sets in which leads me to watching too much TV, the Facebook sucks me in, the wheels start to fall off and things get messy. Then the stress sets in and I do a lot in a very small window of time. Speed cleaning, it’s magical.
This week I am prioritising my list over TV and The Facebook. I have been reading my book and the relaxation it brings me versus the screen is incredible. I want to make the little free time I have more beneficial.
Weight loss this week: 600g
Weight loss so far: 14.2kg
I’ve changed to Saturday weigh in as I found myself letting myself go on Friday’s.
The three words I spat out as I looked up at my husband while in the final stage of labour, we’ve got this. Next I know I’ve got our little Willow passed up to me, it was empowering, we have this.
I’VE GOT THIS!
Just before I pushed her out (sorry don’t go to any visuals) I kept having false starts. Pushing, pushing, pushing then I’d freak the feck out because I was afraid. I didn’t even have a Panadol in my system, the gas was out of reach and I sure as hell wasn’t willing or able to crawl to it at this stage. There was nothing between me and that pain, why did I do this to myself?
My amazing midwife lent down beside my head and said ‘I know you’re scared, it is going to hurt but you are only a matter of minutes away from meeting your beautiful baby’.
We’ve got this followed by something far more intense than I have ever felt in my life and she was there. In my arms crying away.
I am getting my reassuring voice ready because I need to take charge. There are 24 weeks left of the year, it wont be easy, possibly even painful but I need to think of all the amazing rewards at the end. Fitness, health, new clothes a new lease on life and more confidence.
I’VE GOT THIS
Weight loss this week: 200g
Weight loss so far: 13.6kg
My gorgeous friend called me out of the blue the other day. Isn’t it funny that most calls are out of the blue now, texting is way more convenient. Anyway she called me and said the most precious thing ‘ I was thinking about you, one of my colleagues has post natal depression and I was having a meeting with her and it made me wonder if you were okay?’ My body instantly went on the defense like does she think I’m not coping? Do I seem depressed? But she was just caring and I thought it was wonderful. ‘I am okay I reassured her, life is hectic and can be stressful but that is having kids’. Okay I may have blubbered on a bit (a lot) more than that.
Sometimes you might ask your friend and they might not be okay and that’s where you become very useful. You have been trusted in to the sanctum of their reality. We spend so much time pretending everything is all fine and dandy when really life is bloody hard. Even though it sucks and you feel like you are drowning it is okay to feel like you are not coping.
The last couple of weeks have been a continuation of pattern for me. It’s frustrating to acknowledge but something I need to confront because I don’t want to completely unravel.
In being kind to myself I am being unkind. I am at the peak of sleep deprivation and have stoppped exercising enough. I’ve also been chasing sugar and carbs like a woman possessed. I’m not winning and I had a terrible time dealing with the idea of hopping on the scales but it’s done now. I want to wrap myself up in a winter blanket and keep indulging because damn it! I feel I deserve it.
My goal far outweighs this tiredness. I need to find a way to keep myself in check and have a back up plan for that inevitable tired day when shopping and cooking seems too hard (most days). Prepping for the week seems impossible as finding a massive block of time that isn’t there doesn’t really work. This is where I’m falling apart. It all seems too hard.
My kindness to myself this week. The one variable I can control. My bedtime. Even though I want to watch my shows and relax a bit without the kids I think giving myself another hour before midnight will make a world of difference. So I shall add that on to reading a book which was my goal from last week. Trust me I’ll get there.
Weight gain this week: 200g
Weight loss so far: 13.4kg
What time do you go to bed/wake up?
Following on from my previous post I have come to the conclusion that I am a little bit lost. Okay, maybe a lot lost. Since having the girls I’ve changed and I’m not really sure what in to yet. Maybe a pumpkin? a carriage? Too much Cinderella.
Once upon a time life was all about Dan and I then all of a sudden it was all about Matisse and now Willow. Who we were, our lifestyle, gone. I’m not complaining, the girls mean the world to me and they bring me every bit of happiness. What I’m talking about is the happiness I give to myself.
What I do for me currently:
Focus on my health and fitness
Writing in this blog
Cooking (I’m starting to enjoy it!)
– I think I need more but time is a bit of an issue at the moment.
On Sunday I went clothes shopping. I couldn’t stand looking at my baggy jeans any longer so I picked up a few pairs of fitted jeans and a couple of tops. I want to feel good about how I look and whenever I looked in the mirror at those daggy baggy jeans I wasn’t seeing a positive reflection. It’s amazing how shopping for yourself can feel so good when you have been neglecting that aspect for so long. I felt as if any time I went shopping for myself in the past I’d come out with something for the girls.
My happiness focus this week is reading. I am going to read a WHOLE book. I’ve got to finish reading the one I’ve been reading for about four months first!
What do you do to make yourself happy?
Weight loss this week: 1Kg
Weight loss so far: 13.6Kg
It’s such a loaded heading but it’s something I’ve been deliberating on a fair bit.
The past year has brought on an era of change.
We have become a family of four and recently we relinquished our cherished apartment to another loving owner. Realistically it’s an investor who doesn’t give two hoots so that makes me a bit sad.
I met Dan when I was twenty two, just a baby and we committed right from the get go. When he left after our first date I knew I wanted him in my life. Later that year we moved in to our apartment and that was us for the next eight years.
It was little but it was ours and it’s where our love grew, where we challenged each other everyday, drank far too much wine and where I proposed.
We came home on our wedding night figuring why would we want to be anywhere else but our own little place where we grew as us.
One single, one double and a Masters degree were celebrated in Simpson Manor. Many late nights celebrating life, cementing forever friendships over just one more drink, long walks and bike rides followed by coffee and brunch.
Then our first pregnancy was confirmed.
Simpson Manor you will be our gem forever.
Where to now? We have become grown up with two beings relying on us. If I focus on what made us happy it might help to work out what happens next.
To be continued….