This morning as my child screamed for her blanket as I drove down the driveway I wondered when she learnt to expect to get everything she wants.
Do we spoil her? Let her run loose? Why is she like this? I was experiencing deep regret. Why did I let so much slide or did I? Is this normal?
So many questions.
It made me wonder what I have done to influence her behaviours. One thing we have been a lot of lately is being tired and grumpy.
We’ve been grouchy Mum and Dad and it doesn’t make me happy. Doing this makes her think that it is okay to act grouchy towards others.
I’m not aiming for some Fluffy detergent commercial style harmony but I’m over the grumpy.
It made me bring a comparison between my work and home life. I’m very big on a positive work culture. Respect the people around you. Make them and their contribution feel valued. Ensure they feel listened to and encourage them to grow and build independence.
Changing my perspective is key by the sounds of things. We all need to work together in this family to not only get everyone to bed by 7:15 each night, but to do it harmoniously and without broken blood vessels and overworked voice boxes.
One of the biggest triggers for disharmony is when she doesn’t listen. If Dan is around he will pipe up and ask her to listen to me, it all kind of goes in circles. Pointless and annoying. Then it escalates and a tantrum comes forth rapidly. Discipline drops in. Non compliance equals the stairs. Further non compliance equals the bedroom. We have a full steam kicking, screaming three-year old taken to her bedroom followed by doors being slammed then more kicking and tears.
The demands for a cuddle are at an all time high but only on her terms. We must cuddle in a particular place and without Willow. By this stage Mum is terribly exhausted.
It doesn’t seem like we are getting anywhere because the tantrums keep on happening.
This week I will be taking a few tips on board.
Use humour and be light-hearted when situations get heated
Recognise when you are being grumpy/tired/short/rushed
Work out whether is it a fight worth fighting.
Take time out
Do activities together without the baby
Understand she is three. Her outbursts are because she is not coping or doesn’t understand the situation.
A cuddle fixes everything (most of the time)
Try not to rush, try to listen and don’t dismiss
Do you have any methods of keeping a sense of calm in your home? Do you have a way to get your child to listen without getting to the tantrum stage?
I’ve had a rubbish week. We’ve all been sick, Willow isn’t sleeping and I’ve got this non stop sense of absolute doom.
When everything is down you feel down, when the planets are aligning you feel like lightning.
Where is the middle ground?
I hit double figures and took myself off to see the family interstate. I’ve come back and instead of falling on my feet I’m dwelling on the fact that I miss everyone already.
Life sucks but I should be able to get around this without sabotaging myself. Well the layers have kept piling on top of each other and I’ve avoided every possible crutch available to me. TIFFXO has an array of resources available yet I’m not reaching out. I’m self medicating with food and although not at the level that I was previously it really messes with you when you start mistreating your body.
What is going through my head right now?
If I start back on the program again I can’t eat whatever I want.
I need some motivation
What are my goals?
Why am I doing this?
What is it going to take to get me there?
One foot in front of the other. This is my first step. Admitting I am in trouble. Second step. I’m going press play, exercise and do the food shopping.
With all of us sick and tired it’s only natural to drop the ball a bit. Food shopping and eating has been secondary. Now I have to re-establish the routine to make next week a better one.
I’m resetting now.
Weight loss this week: 700g
Weight loss so far: 12.6Kg
Addit: I wrote this pre weigh in and I’m very surprised at the loss. Maybe I’m not eating as much as I think. It definitely goes to show that nutrition can affect your mindset and how your body feels. I wasn’t eating clean so even though I was losing weight I still felt yuck.
Well my last minute dash interstate was amazing. I got to see some of my family and friends but better than that I set myself something to do that was difficult and because I wanted it so much the difficulty did not matter.
So what was so difficult?
I drove with a three year old and six month old by myself!!! for 12 hours!!!!
One and a half hours in to the trip we did a petrol/pee/feed Willow/snack and stretch stop. The moment I was on the toilet watching my three year old hold on to the baby I thought maybe, just maybe it was all too much. I’d spoken to the motel concierge who chirpily informed me Knill was 4.5 hours max away. Add another two hours and we made it. Half way done.
The stops were varied
‘Mum, I don’t want this movie anymore’
‘Mum I don’t want this movie anymore’
Oh and two poosplosions.
The single bed Willow and I shared dipped in the middle so with my fear of smothering her, sleep was secondary. In hindsight I should have slept with Matisse and left Willow to herself. The lack of hotel rooms gave us two single beds. These girls did not make it work.
The motel concierge made this stop worth it. He was a gem or a gem collector. They were everywhere. He sold artifacts with one being a random dinosaur out the front. It would make for a wonderful movie set.
One more poosplosions and the ‘are we at Nanna and Pa’s yet?’ question starting 30 minutes in to our second leg. Five and a half hours later we dragged ourselves inside to find Mum baking. Bliss.
Well, I felt like I needed a bit of a holiday after that mission.
And a holiday I had.
Weight loss this week: 100g
Weight loss to date: 11.9Kg
Just a quick one today as I am a crazy lady and decided at 7PM last night that I am going on a road trip with the girls. Why not keep it fresh and add a little bit of spontaneity. Nope just crazy!
What does that mean???
Snap weigh in!!!!!
I had a little fist pump moment this morning and guess why? I did it. I’m at double figures.
I’ve been finding it difficult to mentally get myself over this invisible line and I’m not even sure what it’s about. Afraid of success maybe? Scared of going above the 100 mark again?
I jumped in to TIFFXO wholeheartedly this week and she got me the results. Combined with the 8,000 steps on the Fitbit and positive thinking It was all an advantage.
No going back now.
Getting this result is such a massive motivation to keep me focused while I’m in Adelaide.
Weight loss this week: 1.4Kg
Weight loss to date: 11.8Kg
I’ll try and get a progress photo up soon. Now to pack!! ROAD TRIP!!!!!!
Today a news article struck a chord with me. The ABC has a documentary series targeting waste. The reporter was in the middle of a shopping mall with six thousand kilograms of discarded fashion and textiles. He asked the crowd how long they thought it took Australians to dispose of this amount of waste. The answers ranged from days to hours but the answer was mere minutes, 10 minutes to be precise. We live in a consumerist society and it made me question my own choices.
The article suggests that having more makes you purchase more. Why would we want more if we have enough? Because your cupboards are so full of stuff that you forget you have it. This got me thinking. Why do we need so much? I put this with why do I feel the need to eat when I’m sad/angry/mad/happy? It isn’t a simple question. I turned to Netflix for help. Haha
I flicked to the Flix and on came Minimalism: A Documentary About The Important Things. Yes, they are the same guys from the podcast. They made it clear to me why I have this overarching discontentment when I sit in my lounge. My brain is perpetually overwhelmed. We have too much stuff!! How little some people live with is inspiring so I thought we’d get cracking on living a more minimalist existence.
First stop: getting rid of the photo albums. Not the pictures. We have technology to thank for the humble scanner button.
Second stop: The walk in robe. I decided to back myself and get rid of all of my summer clothes. By next summer they will be too big so to the charity bin they go. I found two tops of the same style that I never wear because they sit terribly. Why I purchased the second I don’t know. Anything I can’t feed Willow in, gone. It felt AMAZING! I’m saying that I believe in myself so much that I am willing to give away most of my clothes. What also felt great was getting rid of the belongings that held emotional weight. Whenever I had put on the Kg’s in the past there were the clothes waiting for me. Now I’ve got nothing to go back to!
Now to go through the rest of the house. Less is the new more!
Weight loss this week: 600g
Weight loss so far: 10.5Kg
Weight loss for May: 2.9Kg
Monday will see me start the TIFFXO journey, I’m completely committed. I’m actually excited to push myself with both nutrition and fitness and see if I can smash through my next goal.